The Art of Self-Compassion: Sherry Lou Canino on Practices for Healing Emotional Wounds
Why is it that we so easily offer kindness to others, yet struggle to show ourselves the same compassion? When we see a friend in pain, we reassure them, comfort them, and remind them of their worth. But when it comes to our own suffering, we often respond with criticism, guilt, or neglect. For survivors of emotional trauma, this pattern is even more pronounced. Years of manipulation, gaslighting, and self-doubt leave them feeling unworthy of care. But healing isn’t about being strong all the time, it’s about learning to treat yourself with the same gentleness you extend to others.
Sherry Lou Canino, a holistic trauma healer and coach, knows the profound impact of self-compassion in recovery. Through her work, she teaches that healing starts not with fixing what’s broken, but with learning to stand beside yourself in kindness, even in the moments when you feel unworthy. Self-compassion is not a luxury; it’s a necessity for emotional recovery.
Breaking Free from Self-Blame
Survivors of narcissistic abuse and emotional trauma often develop an inner voice that echoes the words of their abuser. It tells them they are at fault, that they should have done more, and that they are weak for struggling. This voice, born from years of manipulation and emotional control, becomes a deeply ingrained belief.
One of the first steps in healing explained by Sherry is recognizing this inner voice for what it is, a reflection of past conditioning, not the truth. When negative self-talk arises, instead of automatically accepting it, she encourages survivors to pause and question it.
A powerful practice she shares is compassionate self-talk. Instead of saying, “I should have seen the signs,” try, “I did the best I could with what I knew at the time.” Instead of thinking, “I should be over this by now,” reframe it as, “Healing takes time, and I am allowed to move at my own pace.”
Changing how we speak to ourselves takes practice, but over time, these small shifts create a new internal dialogue, one that supports healing instead of hindering it.
The Mind-Body Connection: Listening to What Your Body Needs
Emotional trauma isn’t just something that lives in the mind, it settles in the body. Survivors often experience chronic fatigue, tension, headaches, or digestive issues without realizing these are physical manifestations of unresolved emotional pain. When we suppress emotions, the body holds onto them, creating stress and discomfort.
Sherry encourages survivors to reconnect with their bodies as an essential part of healing. Somatic breathwork, for example, is a practice that helps release stored tension through deep, intentional breathing. Breathwork can lower cortisol levels, the stress hormone, helping the nervous system move out of survival mode and into a state of calm.
Other somatic practices, such as yoga, dance, or even simple stretching, can help regulate emotions. Trauma often causes people to feel disconnected from their own physical presence, but gentle movement allows them to reclaim a sense of safety within their own bodies.
Self-compassion in this context means tuning in and asking, “What does my body need right now?” Maybe it’s rest, maybe it’s movement, maybe it’s just deep breaths. Learning to listen and respond with care is a critical step toward emotional recovery.
Healing Through Creative Expression
When words fail, art speaks. Creative expression has long been a therapeutic tool for processing pain, and Sherry has seen firsthand how transformative it can be. Before her work as a trauma healer, she facilitated art therapy for individuals with eating disorders, helping them express emotions that were too difficult to verbalize.
For many survivors, traditional talk therapy can feel overwhelming. But through painting, journaling, music, or movement, they can express emotions in a way that feels safe and natural. Writing in a journal, for example, can be a private space to release feelings without judgment. Some survivors find it helpful to write letters, to themselves, to their past selves, or even to the people who hurt them, as a way to let go of pain and reclaim their own voice.
Sherry also emphasizes the power of intuitive art, where there is no goal of creating something beautiful or perfect, only the act of allowing emotions to take shape through color, texture, and movement. This process bypasses the analytical mind and helps survivors connect with their deeper emotions.
Healing isn’t about finding the right words, it’s about allowing yourself to feel without fear. Creativity provides that space.
Building a Life Rooted in Self-Compassion
Self-compassion isn’t just something to practice in moments of pain, it’s something that should be woven into everyday life. It’s about choosing, again and again, to treat yourself with patience and understanding, even on the hard days.
For many survivors, setting boundaries is one of the greatest acts of self-care. Saying no to things that deplete your energy, stepping away from toxic relationships, and protecting your peace are all ways to show yourself kindness. Self-compassion also means making space for joy, even in small ways. Whether it’s listening to music, spending time in nature, or simply allowing yourself to rest without guilt, these moments reinforce that you are worthy of care.
Sherry often reminds survivors that healing isn’t about being perfect. Some days will be easier than others. What matters is that, no matter how many times you fall into old patterns, you continue choosing yourself.
Conclusion: The Courage to Be Kind to Yourself
Healing from emotional wounds is not about erasing the past, it’s about learning to live with kindness in the present. Self-compassion is not a luxury or an indulgence. It is the foundation of true healing.
As Sherry Lou Canino teaches, choosing to be gentle with yourself today can change everything about your tomorrow. It’s not about ignoring your pain or pretending everything is fine. It’s about standing beside yourself, offering the same love and care you so easily give to others.
For those struggling, the first step is simple: pause, take a breath, and remind yourself that you are worthy of healing. Every act of self-kindness, no matter how small, is a step forward.
